Today was one of those less-than-fun days where I had to handle something that is now my responsibility because my dad died. It seems to never end with all the paperwork and transferring things into my name, etc.
Sometimes the process is not that bad and sometimes it seems to take an act of Congress to simply continue on with the same thing (such as insurance or internet service) where I’d love to just change the payment method without setting up a whole new f***ing account. I mean we certainly don’t want any companies out there to make things any easier for us.
It’s possible that I have “ugly-cried” and hung up on people… more than once… during this long, drawn-out beneficiary process. A process I am convinced will never actually end. In fact, I feel certain there will be at least one company out there just waiting to send me an out-of-the-blue bill or notice of cancellation right around the 1-year mark of his death.
With these phone calls—I’m talking about one second I’m telling them my name… and the next second, while trying to tell them I am calling because my father has died, I start loudly sniffing in their ear as my nose immediately begins dripping (right onto the paper I need to write stuff down on) all while pretending that I have it together and can most-definitely conduct business like a civilized adult. Fun times.
You know in your brain that you aren’t the first person they’ve had to deal with who lost someone, but then I think…yeah, but you haven’t met me yet. Because I overthink just about everything, all I can imagine is that I am going to get someone who is either: (a) on their first day on the job and I am about to crush their spirit with my crazy or (b) someone who is already having a bad day or also recently lost a loved one and… I’m about to crush their spirit with my crazy.
So far, this hasn’t seemed to be the case but these are the type of things running through my mind each time I have to make a call related to my dad’s death. I swear it’s like a messed up coping method where I try to make a not-so-fun but pretty-doable situation into an emotional rollercoaster ride for all involved. You. Are. Welcome.
Circling back to today’s fun-filled after-death activities I’ll need to start with this last Friday. I go over to my dad’s old house, and I open up some mail. I realize that something I thought was on auto-draft….for about…oh I don’t know…a smooth 6 months following his death… wasn’t in fact on auto draft. So, guess what this cute little letter was informing me? That’s right, my policy has been cancelled due to non-payment.
(Insert a mini-meltdown and profanity.)
How fun to think this particular item of business was under control only to discover you need to pay a $2,000 chunk of change to settle a now cancelled policy and prepare to start over with a new one! Knowing I get to explain, more than once, that my father has died and that is why I am calling. Sigh. I might as well say, “I’m calling to tell you that grief makes my mind foggy, I didn’t realize I owed any money, and you are now the winner-winner-chicken-dinner of my (likely) next meltdown.”
Today’s call started out fine, and to be honest all the people I spoke with were easy to work with and 2 of them were particularly kind. I asked my husband to be in the room with me to assist with any questions they might try to zing me with that could potentially catapult me into meltdown status simply for not knowing an immediate answer. (I’m just fun like that.) Anyway, my husband being nearby must have helped significantly with the whole not crying goal and after “only” 1 hour and 45 minutes, 3 representatives and around 78 different hold times – I got ….most of it handled.
If you are anything like me, even when I start feeling slightly accomplished about completing something I consider hard or uncomfortable—I still have to have at least one hiccup. The hiccup was that I left some information I needed to complete 1 of the 3 items on a new policy over at my dad’s old house. That’s when I feel like giving myself one gigantic and extremely sarcastic, high-five. So close, Amanda. You almost did it! Haha.
Thankfully, it will be an easy thing to handle when I am in front of said paperwork making today… a WIN! I think.
All of this to say, if you are struggling –even six months after the death of a loved one – to still get all the things handled, know that you are not alone. Know that I have absolutely broken down on the phone with random customer service representatives, but that I also had a day like today where even though I spent my weekly quota for phone calls in one sitting I also managed to keep my crazy tucked in like a lady.
I may have a meltdown on the horizon for the next possible bill I missed or policy I need to re-new, but for today I am feeling semi-accomplished (and slightly drained and peopled-out). Man, I love adult-ing!