Being in your 40s is like riding a non-stop rollercoaster.

Think about it. Thrilling – empowering – scary – the literal “ups and downs” – never knowing what will happen next and then those stomach turning moments and possible PTSD.  

Somedays I have moments where I feel wise or at least “experienced” enough to be asked for advice….maybe I’m even embracing and appreciating aging semi-gracefully. The next day I am melting down and screaming at my scale that must be broken or need new batteries and my gray hair is to the point I need to deal with it or own it.

Quickly followed by thoughts of not wanting to actually pay to have my hair colored, but how I also don’t want to look any older than I already do because I’m too lazy to just handle my damn gray.

Concluded by watching Netflix on the couch with an adult beverage, because—being in your 40s is exhausting.

Being in your 40s also tends to be when you find yourself scrolling on Facebook and seeing your similar-aged friends begin to lose their parents. This always makes me feel old and it hits closer to home now.

Then I scroll just a little more and see people my age having babies. Which is wonderful—it’s just wild to me during this stage of life to have such a wide variety of things happening to my-aged people –and yet it seems to connect us even more.

I say that because sometimes I am a little freaked out when I see someone having a child at my age – not because I am judging them, but because I, myself, couldn’t imagine that at this juncture. For the safety of the public, I would prefer to stay medicated.

However, a lot of times the people I see having children are having their first or maybe their second that was close behind their first because they got married a little older and wanted to go ahead and try for a family. I think about how 16 years ago I might have been posting about being pregnant and many people out there might have been older than me (I was 25 at the time) and were never really able to relate because for any number of reasons they had not yet been pregnant. I cringe when I think about some of the things I may have complained about not even realizing the amount of people who were in the throes of infertility. I love that, now, at least some of those same people are now experiencing the same things. Kind of like a full-circle type thing.

But…then I move to thinking about all those who have never been able to conceive or carry-to-term. How usually, during our 40s women come to a point where they have either had children, are hurrying to have children after marrying a little later in life or — they are having to come to the realization that they may never be able to have a biological child of their own ….followed by choices of adoption or maybe deciding to move forward with the cards they were dealt.

Because it’s a season of life where you, yourself, might also lose a parent you might also finally be able to realistically-relate to the grief someone you know went through when they lost a parent when they were only in their 20s. It’s not the same, but at least you can now relate to the impact of such significant loss. It’s as if this timeframe in life sort of evens-us-up a little in terms of life experiences and as a result improves our ability to relate to one another.

Switching gears — other super neat things for women in their 40s to experience: mammograms—whew, go check out my articles where I describe my first experience earlier this year. https://cracksoflife.com/mid-life-and-mammograms/ and https://cracksoflife.com/wrapped-up-mammo-scare-with-unexpected-money-saving-tips/. Nothing like a good ole boob squashing to make you feel young again. Then the idea of going back over and over to let them do it again pretty much forever?? Fabulous.

Hormones also start acting real-cute at this age, too. I’m still at the low end of 40s, but somedays I act like a whiney 15-year-old and the next I am a fussy 80-year yelling at a kid for driving too fast.

And I REALLY don’t know how I feel about waking up in a pool of sweat for no apparent reason. I like to brush it off as being too hot from my large dogs sharing the bed….but my husband isn’t swimming out of bed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night so… Anyway, I plan to handle this sitch by continuing to deny that I could be in perimenopause.

I did stop to do a little research on perimenopause and eight symptoms pop right up that are suggestive that while you still might get a period, your body may be being to change. THE change. Well, hot damn. Here’s a few from my quick google-search:

• Mood swings/emotional instability: yes, but I can’t be sure if I am any crazier now than I have always been.
• Hot flashes/night sweats: other than waking up and wondering if I have somehow peed in the bed only to find I am actually sweating without exercising…
• Trouble sleeping/insomnia: finishing entire series on Netflix is not that big of a deal…even if it might be several nights a week, right?
• Short-term memory problem: what was the question again?
• Trouble concentrating: it’s not that bad—wait, what were you saying?

Y’all. No one explained just how fun 40s could be! And I haven’t even begun on parenting at this age..that may need to be an article by itself…

For now, find some comfort in the fact that so many women out there are experiencing very similar issues and sometimes….all we can do is laugh our way through.

Or cry.

Or both at the same time for that fabulous-forties-crazy bitch-vibe.

Keep forging forward my 40-something ladies

– or take a nap. We both know it will depend on your mood.