When big changes happen at mid-life it can really throw us off. Sometimes it’s for the best and sometimes it’s our worst nightmare and sometimes it might even be a little bit of both.
Either way, if you are anything like me, I just didn’t expect any major changes when I got to be in my 40s. I mean, sure, I knew that in time there would be deaths, but it’s quite uncomfortable when we have to pivot and take a different path sooner than expected.
I worked for the health department in a specific program for 15 years. That’s a long time and I had worked my way up to the director of my department within the program. I never would have guessed that I wouldn’t have finished out my 25 years right where I was. That is, after all, what most people do once they get sucked into the state retirement system. I will say it can be a pretty great thing since most places don’t offer pension plans anymore – but it’s not so great if it steals your joy and makes you question your purpose. When the people above you show their true colors, and you realize that power corrupts so many. You realize that power-driven people do not care about you, your family and certainly not your well-being. You realize you need to protect your peace if at all possible.
I am guilty of thinking everyone has the same heart I do. I don’t pretend to be perfect, but if there is one thing I am sure of it is that I DO value people exactly as they are. I actually do want to do the right thing (most of the time anyways, ha). I want to do what is best for the majority – the ones on the front line – the ones who don’t make as much…and not sit back while the most deceitful people get praised. While I do believe karma will come for them, karma typically works much slower than any of us would prefer and I have found that waiting on it doesn’t help anyone. We must move on.
Most people feel they don’t have a lot of wiggle room with making career changes if they are more than halfway through their “time served” with a government agency. We might talk about leaving and quitting, but no one ever really thinks they have the ability to do that. My former co-workers and I would talk about trying to find other jobs that still had us in the retirement system—but it was scary to think about making a big change. You always have to consider what your next boss might be like–could they be worse? But unfortunately, even if you have become miserable there is still some comfort in what is familiar. You know?
However, sometimes we have to evaluate our peace and ask ourselves if we deserve more (monetarily and respectfully.)
I have a very good friend who has more time invested in the state than I did, but they really were kind of stuck when it came to options. It makes a big difference if you are a single parent vs having a spouse who also works. I can’t imagine the pressure single moms/dads must feel to depend solely on their paycheck especially when their job is no longer building them up…only tearing them down.
Everything from food and gas to insurance has to be considered when thinking about making a change and it can be scary as hell. The thing is though, if you know you are undervalued, overworked and unhappy – it’s worth at least taking a look around to see what else is out there. Often times the biggest rewards come with the biggest risks.
In my friend’s case, things are looking up! There is an opportunity that allows them to stay in the retirement system but also completely switch gears. They will now have an opportunity to grow and prayerfully be happier and more financially secure. They deserve this amazing, albeit scary change – and so do you!
Don’t ever give up looking around if you are unhappy – opportunities are out there you just need to put forth a little effort and not give up when you don’t find something right off. You never know what is around the corner. Life is full of surprises and while some are not great, some might take you on a pivot that significantly changes your life for the better. Easy for me to say, I know, but I encourage you to take the risk and always look around for what is best for your overall well-being. It doesn’t have to make sense to others. Others don’t know all of your struggles. I encourage you to stand up for yourself and make the best of this life, as we know it. We all know it could change in an instant and we get from it what we put into it. So, give it your all!