Even though we all likely know someone who has either had breast cancer or had a close friend or family member affected by it, I think it is still one of those things many of us think won’t happen to us. To be honest, I figured that any worries about possible breast cancer scares wouldn’t happen until I was in my 50s or older.
On February 28th of this year, I was sitting in the waiting room about to have my first mammogram. I wrote down my thoughts in real-time as I waited:
Sitting at the breast cancer center waiting to get my first mammogram at 41 years old. Not looking forward to what I’m told is the process of having your boobs smashed down to about ½ inch pancakes.
I took a couple of Aleve before coming but that sure as hell doesn’t seem like it will be enough for what’s coming.
Because my luck is amazing, I realized after the appointment was scheduled that my boobs are swollen and tender because I am due to start my cycle today. Super-duper. The only time they tell you to avoid doing this if you can as it relates to having your boobs smooshed around. Yay me.
(Last time I tried to be a big-girl and get this done I couldn’t find where to go and literally had a panic attack. Good times. So, no turning back now..)
However, I can’t help but think… is it awful to almost wish I had gotten lost again so I could dodge all this fun? Sigh… Jokes aside I am nervous and being that this is the first one there’s always a chance they might see something of concern.
We are just a few days away from it being 1 month since I lost Dad to prostate cancer/chemo treatments. I don’t want my kids to ever go through what I have now experienced with a parent and cancer…hospice and last breaths…
Here’s to hoping everything goes well. Did I mention that I am nervous as hell?!
Well, I didn’t do any more real-time journaling after that, but as it turns out they did see some areas of concern and I was scheduled to come back the following week for additional mammogram views as well as an Ultrasound. Bring on the fear and worry now..
I wound up having a conflict with the first appointment which pushed my appointment back to April 1st. Wasn’t really anything I could do to avoid this, but of course, it just added to the wait-time of finding out what is going on.
So, when the day arrives, I head on over to have these follow up scans done. Once they are done, I am told that there is an area of concern, and a biopsy is recommended. Seriously? I was a bit taken aback simply because I was only doing all this to check off a box, right?… and now, I have to have a biopsy. Just all seemed to be happening so fast and yet so slow in terms of the waiting game.
The following week, April 8th, I am scheduled to first see a doctor for a surgery consult. So right off the bat I am not feeling particularly positive as it really didn’t make sense to me to go have a surgery consult before they even did the biopsy – which was scheduled that same afternoon. Pretty much as expected, the doctor basically just tells me what I could already read pretty clearly on MyChart (the App used for health information and test results, etc.) so it felt a bit like a waste of everyone’s time. Granted if you don’t “do” MyChart or Apps I could see how this might be beneficial, but even the doctor admitted he thought the process was a bit strange in terms of the order of appointment types.
I leave that appointment and prepare for the fun part, the biopsy. Not that this needs clarification, but I can assure you the biopsy was not fun. I didn’t expect it to be, but unfortunately the lidocaine didn’t get to all the necessary areas and so I wound up feeling a decent amount of the procedure. I had been told they would take 2 samples so I was just trying to get through it – even though the really nice lady doing the ultrasound during the procedure (that guides the doctor while inserting the needle) told me to tell her if I could feel anything.
I winced and got through the second needle and slightly jarring way they click the collection tube closed, but there was one more thing to be done that I really didn’t know was coming. I guess I am inclined to think maybe it was somewhere on something I signed or initialed by indicating that I understood …. but either way, I missed the part about leaving a metal “clip” inside of me. Apparently this is done to mark where they did the biopsy for future scans and potential surgery. Ugh…I did feel this being put in and it literally brought tears to my eyes. The Ultrasound lady was very apologetic and wished I had said something when I first felt pain; she continued to tell me how sorry she was that I felt pain—the doctor, however, said, “Did you feel that? You must be sensitive.”
I shit you not, that is what the doctor said. I’ll leave my detailed thoughts on that for another day. Trying to keep cuss words to a minimum per post.
Who knows, maybe he did say he was sorry for any pain after his rude comment, but I really didn’t hear anything after, “You must be sensitive.” No broseph, you clearly must not be as good as you thought you were at correctly dosing and placing the lidocaine. However, nothing I could do at this point but go home and ice my beat-up boob.
Another “neat” part about biopsies is that there are no immediate results. They have to send the samples off to pathologist to determine if any number of possible cancers or other concerns are found within the breast tissue extracted.
The doctor I saw earlier in the morning told me that the results were likely to be in by the end of the week and he would call me with results. Because I have experience with using MyChart I knew there was a very high chance I would see results before I got the call.
I was right.
I looked in MyChart and sometime mid-morning today, April 10th, the results had been put in. I will spare specific details, but it appears that no cancers were found or any other concerns needing immediate attention. Woo hoo! What a relief… Now there were a few things noted that I am sure the doctor will clarify, and I am praying that the second surgery consult – the one they already made for this coming Monday—will be unnecessary. The sooner the doctor gives me a call the sooner I will know with certainty if this means I will not need any kind of lumpectomy or surgical procedure at this time.
Until then…it is my hope that at least one person that reads this will go ahead and make that appointment to have a mammogram. Whether it’s your first one or it’s been a while since you’ve had one–don’t wait! Take this post as your sign to be proactive about your health. I never expected any issues for myself with the very first screening and I’m here to tell you that while it seems everything is okay right now, they had to double, triple check to be sure.
Do it for your family; do it for yourself. Don’t let something that you could have potentially gotten in front of turn into one of those cracks in your life that is much bigger than it had to be. We want the light to shine through, but no need for massive cracks, you know?
It’s so scary. I’m so glad you got negative results of the biopsy. I had a baseline mammogram at 35 and they saw changes on my 40 year old one. I also had a biopsy which was a very traumatic experience for me. I scream prevention to all my people. Prayers for all clears in the future for you.
Thank you for reading and commenting! I did question myself, initially, as to whether or not to write about the experience – including the not-so-great stuff. I didn’t want to turn anyone away from the idea, you know? Then I asked a close friend of mine what she thought, and she encouraged me to leave it just like it is –people want the raw truth. If you encourage others to go have this done, don’t try to make it all rainbows and sunshine. Some of it is not fun, it’s a little uncomfortable…and can be terrifying, but this is what we have to do to take charge of our health outcomes. We may not can prevent whether or not we will have to deal with cancer one day, but it goes without saying that the sooner you know something–the best possibility you have to beat it!
Thanks again for your support in reading my blog. It means a lot.
Thank you for writing about your experience. Posts like this can really help others! Keep sharing!
Yes! Even if just one person who reads this decides to schedule that mammogram–a significant difference has been made. Not just for the person who makes the appointment, but for the family who needs them around as long as possible. We can’t really change the final outcome of life as we know it, but we can make every effort on our end to stay here as long as we can.
No–it’s not the most fun I have ever had — but knowing I am taking charge of my own efforts to stick-around is part of this whole “adulting” thing that actually makes you feel pretty good. 🙂
Thank you so much for all of our support! Love ya!
Such an important reminder to ‘take the test’ regularly. The ‘C’ word is ever present in our minds, I think. Fear and concern always seems to be lurking around the corner, but if we will just turn that corner (take the test) and look it square in the face, and remember we are ‘covered’ no matter what the outcome by the arms of God, we have already passed the test. Thank you for being so honest, and for sharing your life with us. YOU are making a difference in so many lives. I love you!
Thank you so much for reading and for all your support!