Today you would be 14 years old, James. Time helps me live, but it does not take away the ache. I wrote two short poems leading up to this day. I came to realize both poems are written about and for not only you, James, but my daddy–your Bug, who is now with you on birthdays…
“Peace comes and goes”
Peace, where are you?
I think I found you…
But then, just like that…you were gone.
I felt scared..
sad
lonely
uncertain.
You always reassured my need to exist.
You made me believe I am supposed to exist.
For what?
Somes days I’m not so sure.
Why did you leave so soon?
How was I so lucky to have you so long?
-Amanda George DuBose 5/30/24
“With you again”
We decided to stay an extra day here at the lake.
Wish you had been here.
I came out on the screened porch to look out across the water.
I hear so many different birds chirping. The water has steady, calming movement.
It is very peaceful. Nature all around.
Only natural sounds — often hard to come by.
In the midst of it all though–—
I can’t escape the impending date.
Your birthday is in two days…you would be turning 14 years old.
Your absence is felt no matter where I am–
but as time passes
I realize
I’m that much closer to being with you again.
Amanda George DuBose 6/1/24
Only a mother could have written these. Thank you for sharing this part of your life; it is my life as well. I love you.