Some days we just survive and that’s enough

Some weeks are just kind of blah.

This has been one of those weeks for me. I had the very best intentions –but here we are already to Friday and I don’t have much to show for it. Sigh…

Since I have taken this new plunge, where I don’t have strict work hours…or a boss…sometimes I just can’t quite make myself be as efficient as I should be.

Considering that I just lost my dad at the end of January and just resigned from my job with the state of 15 years at the end of February—I’d like to say I am still doing some major adjusting. The truth is my depression is always right there under the surface waiting to stick its ugly head out.

I should be thrilled that I am not having to rush around in the morning getting ready to fly down Spillway Road (possibly flipping a few people off) headed to the office (as if it is their fault that I didn’t get out of the house early enough.)

I am thrilled—but sometimes even when you feel you should be so thankful and happy, your mind and emotions just don’t feel like joining the party.

And guess what? That is okay! We are human.

I am bad about feeling bad when I don’t focus on all the positive. I think about how all I have wanted to do for years was be able to write and paint/make things. Here I am with that opportunity I would have never dreamed possible at this point in life and sometimes I still feel stuck in rut.

I will remind all of you, as I remind myself, life is hard. We all know this, but still refuse to give ourselves a break when we aren’t all sunshine and rainbows despite knowing we have so much to be thankful for.

So, for today I am going to do my best to not be too hard on myself for only getting out 3 blog posts this week. I am going to be okay with this piece not being some kind of masterpiece.

I will be going out to have my Friday margarita. I can tell you that right now. Because life really is too short to not stop and enjoy the things that make you happy. Give yourself grace to just exist and for trying your best in a really crazy-messed up world.

In closing, I will leave you with a little something from my last therapy session.

(Yes! I am finally going to therapy—only a few decades after I should have already started, haha. More on this later as I will attempt to encourage you to go –not by telling you to go, but rather by sharing some of the things I am learning and providing some suggestions that may make you stop and consider what it could do for you.)

So here’s the deal and it’s not new information, but hear me on this: you must remember that dwelling on your past is not a great idea because that is where your depression lies—dwelling on the future is not great because that is where all your anxiety lies. The only way to really live is to live in the moment.

Even if that moment means you need a good cry—you need to blast some rock/rap/metal –or ensure that you don’t miss your ritual Friday evening margarita with your husband.