Tribute to Dad

I want to share what I wrote in honor of my dad, who passed away January 31, 2024. He had prostate cancer and it showed back up again in October of 2023. I genuinely thought we had a decent amount of time left to spend with him. We were given estimates of 3 1/2 to 5 years if he tolerated the chemotherapy and more like a year to a year and a half if he didn’t tolerate the chemo.

The chemo treatments were just too much for his body.

He fought like hell, but after week-long hospital stays following 2 of the 3 treatments, going into septic shock…two different times, he was called Home. This was only a little over 3 months after discovering it was back…. and it had spread.

We all knew that because the cancer had spread this time, it was extremely serious — and it was going to steal years away from us. I had already cried my eyes out at what we thought was going to be the worst-case scenario of a year or so…never did I expect to have only a matter of months.

My Dad will forever be my hero and my rock. I wrote the following tribute to him and recorded myself reading it aloud. We played it for the audience at the end of his funeral. May his legacy live on forever; the kindest man I ever knew. I will love him always.

1/24/24

Well, I certainly didn’t think we would get here so fast. I know you always taught me that the most precious thing we have is time—time with those who love us the most. Time with those who love us exactly as we are without any strings attached.

Time and time again, I would be introduced to someone working at the dealership with you and each one couldn’t say enough wonderful things about you. Not just, “oh yeah—he’s great to work with,” no, things like the man who told me you gave him money to get his family some Christmas gifts. The man told me that it was a loan and I just had to smile to myself because I highly doubt you let him pay you back.

You never put value in monetary things and I am a better person for it. I’ll never forget us watching “It’s a Wonderful Life,” every year and finally realizing that you are so much like George Bailey! I think it was a lesson you began teaching me well before I fully understood.

It’s the very concept that Clarence was instructed by God to teach George when absolutely everything was going wrong and he saw no hope ahead. You remember what Clarence told George? “Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.” Clarence went on to say—“Strange isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole doesn’t he?”

Yes, it’s an awful hole, but how damn lucky am I to be the daughter of a man of this caliber? I think if you looked up the definition of “character”—“class act”…they just recently changed the definition to simply include a picture of you.

Another line I remember from the movie is, “All you can take with you is that which you’ve given away.” Seeing as you would give anyone the shirt off your back—and you did, time and time again, I’d say you are taking with you an endless supply of love, respect, kindness and joy with you. You gave that away every single day of your precious life.

I’m just so blessed to have been such a big part of your…wonderful life. Thank you for being my Daddy. I love you “thisssssss much!”

(We had a thing we did from as long ago as I can remember: we would hold our hands out in front of us just a few inches apart as if to show how long the length of two inches is and say, “I love you this much.” The other person would pretend to pout and fake cry a little. Then, we’d pull our hands a little further apart as if to show the length of book and say again, “I love you this much.” Again, the other person would hang their head down, pout a little and fake whine-cry. Then we would throw out our hands all the way to each side—spread as far apart as possible like you were about to throw your arms around someone you hadn’t seen in forever and say, “I love you thisssssss much!!” When we did this the other person would then smile big, yell out, “YAY” and clap..usually always followed by a big hug. I remember that a lot of times when I would get to the part of stretching my arms as far out to the side as possible to say, “I love you thisssssss much!” he tickled me under my arm pits, and we’d just laugh and laugh as he hugged me. There was never any doubt how much he loved me.)

I will cherish those memories forever.

Dad, I will always love you “thisssssss much.” Until I see you again, Amanda.