The love of a dog

The love of a dog. It changes you in ways that I believe only a dog knows how to do and we will never fully understand.

For several years, I had been expressing to my family that I would like to add a dog to our family and that I was really thinking about a bigger dog. You see, we already had a Shih-Tzu named Maggie who was well up there in age and I knew when she died it was going to be tough on us. Extremely tough on my dog-loving heart…and there was no way to avoid it. In my mind, if we got another dog before that happened it might help us transition better through the loss.

My daughter did not see it that way…neither did my husband. (Thankfully, my son is always with me on the animal-front.)

In October of 2022, I was scrolling through Facebook and saw a post from a woman in a town close by that was trying to find a home for a dog. I clicked on the post to find out more and it turns out that this woman had a dog basically dropped off at her house to try and find a new home for them—and if not, he was going to an animal shelter very soon. The woman who was temporarily taking care of him had to keep him tethered outside on one of those cable ties. I read on to find out that there wasn’t much back story available other than the dog had been living in an apartment and the owner could no longer take care of him.

Before even reading the entire post—it was love at first sight when I scrolled through the pictures of him. This sweet boy was absolutely adorable and was clearly a mix of bigger breeds that I was interested in.

My family thought I was crazy. To their defense, it was a little out of left field to go from me having a Shih Tzu growing up, then our sweet Shih Tzu, Maggie—to wanting a larger mixed breed that seemed the polar opposite.

I knew they didn’t understand and maybe I really didn’t either. I just knew I felt it in my heart that I was meant to love a dog like that. I knew almost instantly—but my family didn’t realize I meant business this time.

I had told them multiple times over the last year or so that a big dog was all that I wanted. You know, in terms of any occasion where you might receive a gift. I was very clear—and it had to be one we adopted. When that never happened, I knew I had to take matters into my own hands. I didn’t know why this was the time to act, I just knew it was laid on my heart.

I sent the woman a Facebook message. My heart was pumping out of my chest because it was not lost on me that this was a major decision that would impact my entire family – two of which were so “not-on-board” that they were still on land and I was halfway across the ocean driving the boat.

My husband and daughter were convinced that if I brought home a big dog—our sweet, blind and mostly deaf, Maggie would certainly be mauled and killed instantly by said dog.

I had already made up my mind though; this felt like the big guy upstairs was clearly “on-board.”

When it was time to go I knew my son wanted to come, but to my surprise my daughter wanted to come too. I am almost certain she just couldn’t believe I was about to do this and wanted to be present to see it. She pretty much snarled all the way to meeting spot while my son just sat there looking a bit bewildered.

As expected, once I met the dog I was immediately in love and was headed back to my car with our newest family member (that we later named Roscoe.)

My husband was a bit shocked…to say the least… that I actually went through with this. I don’t think he said one word to us when we got home and my daughter was still fully convinced this dog was too big for our house—and too much for Maggie to handle.

After a few weeks, I noticed my daughter softening up some. She was on the couch working on her laptop when I noticed that Roscoe, who was in the recliner next to her, had his paw up on the arm of the couch. My daughter’s hand was resting on top of his paw. They were holding hands.

Roscoe had made his way into her heart whether she wanted him to or not.

Fast forward 3 months…in February of 2023 our beloved Maggie, 16 at the time, passed away. We brought her home before our first child was even born. She was with us through so much. We knew the time was coming and we had been avoiding what we knew would have been best for her. Thankfully, prayers were answered and instead of having to make that awful decision…she passed away in her sleep.

I think Maggie’s death affected my husband more than he was prepared for. We were both working from home that day and knew we needed to bury her. Guess what we didn’t have? A mother-flipping shovel.

Ugh, y’all. Do you know what it was like to have to get into the car and make a trip to Tractor Supply to specifically buy a shovel so that you can bury your family dog? I’ll tell you, it’s awful; we knew it had to be done though. This was another one of those “adult-ing” things that just flat out sucks.

Standing in the back yard, watching my husband begin to dig into the ground with the new shovel….it was like time stood still for a moment. I knew in my brain that dogs only live so long and we were blessed with having Maggie for 16 years, but my heart was losing a family member.

I tried to hold it together, but as I walked further out into the yard where my husband was digging, I realized I heard him sniffing. I realized he was softly crying as he was digging. The kind of tears you are trying so hard to hold back; those hot stinging tears that come anyway. Dogs have more of an impact that we realize. Sometimes it’s not until their death that we realize the extent.

Now our family would have to work through the loss of Maggie while some were still adjusting to Roscoe. Much later, both my naysayers will tell me that I could not have picked a more perfect dog to add to our family. That they were actually so glad I brought Roscoe home before Maggie left us. That in some way, Roscoe really did help us through the loss and avoiding feeling like we got a new dog to replace Maggie.

The love of a dog is like no other; it heals us and shows us unwavering love back, especially when we need it the most.

** To be continued…